top of page

Be the leader you were meant to be. 

Get my eBook "So You Want To Be a Superintendent?"


It's not a stick in the eye

I've been working on downloading a list of all the superintendents, CEOs and principals in New York State and I downloaded the list when I was at my Business Mastermind.

I spent probably 12 hours on it, sorting and just getting it down to the female leaders because my plan is to send them a free gift.

I sat down the other day to open it up and I can't find the darn thing. I'm like, oh, no, where is it? What happened? Then, I find it again. I'm like, Okay. re-copy it, put it into an Excel file and restore it. So let's do the math. I spent probably 12 hours the first time sorting it. Getting it exactly how I wanted it. Lost it. Found it again. resorted it. I was better at sorting this time. So it maybe took me six hours.

Then I ran a mail merge and something went wrong with mail merge. And it asked me do you want to delete the headers and footers. All I wanted to do was close it because it wasn't working. So I click Yes. And then asks me another question and I click Yes. Because you know, I'm moving so fast. Well, files were deleted. Like, forever. So I find this out Friday morning.

Now, if you followed me, I put about 18 hours sorting this darn thing. Well, I was working in my office which is located in my parent's house. Now at this point, I'm not sure if I'm going to throw up or I'm going to cry. I lost this thing. So I grabbed my computer and do a little research. Obviously, I know how to find deleted files but I can't find them. I was like you know what, this is not worth my time messing around, I need to go to a professional.

So I raced over to the Mac shack, which is a local computer store. They ask me if I have time machine on my laptop. Like, what's Time Machine? Well, apparently there's something on Macs called Time Machine where you can back up your computer. No, I had never set that up. Because why would I know that? Clearly, I should have and I will now.

So then I decide tomorrow, I'm just going to sit here and download a program worth $100 to find deleted files. Well, I found 21,000 deleted files but not the file I needed. So my reptilian brain is on fire and I'm overreacting and I'm acting like a jerk and I'm literally feeling ill. Well, I had a proposal to work for a school district in Texas. So my mom and dad are downstairs and they're texting me offering to help. I think to myself sure, as this proposal is due for this organization Monday and I want to get it done by today so I can spend some time working on it.

This is what made me think...What would you tell an executive that you're coaching? What would you tell a superintendent or principal? And I started telling myself, "Listen, it's not a stick in the eye." Okay, you lost it but you didn't lose the raw data. You'll just resort it or you'll have somebody resort it for you. It's not that big of a deal. Plus, every time I've sorted I've gotten faster at sorting. So I said just focus on the next thing that needs to be done, which is this proposal.

A lot of times what happens to us is we know what we need to do but we fight it. We just want to be angry. And it's not that we knowingly wish to do this but this is what we're doing by our actions and that's where I was. I was so angry and annoyed. I was like literally going to throw up or puke or maybe take a nap. That's where I was. Then I was like, it is not a stick in the eye. This is not something that is insurmountable. You have faced worse things. You'd have done much more complex things.

What's interesting is I had to shift my mindset from being that person at the moment to being a coach. Like what would you do if you were coaching? What would you say? Let's focus on what needs to be done now. Then let's worry about the list later. This is a perfect example of a time when I was not kind to myself, and I made it worse. This was a time when I had to coach myself out of it.

Regardless of what might go wrong today, remember that it is not a stick in the eye and we are able to move forward and overcome it.

In love, friendship and leadership,


bottom of page